Wednesday, May 9, 2012

I am the Boxer

This month has been a fight, a battle.  And I'm feeling banged up, spinning out of control, in need of rest and recovery. In need of a cave to hide in with a stack of light hearted novels to escape into...

But hiding doesn't solve anything.

The only solution is to go out and face the world head on; with as much strength and grace possible. Then go home at night to bandage up the wounds and pray for more strength the next day.

And the strength always seems to come when it's absolutely necessary. Hope always returns when I feel myself sinking or getting overwhelmed with the big decisions I have to make. Whether its through the sweet words of my boys, a friend, the scriptures, or a song. And Monday it came through a song; good ol' Simon and Garfunkel never fail me. I was driving when their song, The Boxer, came on. A song I memorized as a kid. And the last verse gets me every time:

In the clearing stands a boxer
And a fighter by his trade
And he carries the reminders
Of ev'ry glove that layed him down
Or cut him till he cried out
In his anger and his shame
"I am leaving, I am leaving"
But the fighter still remains

 How easy it is to throw in the towel and quit when the fight gets too hard.  Wouldn't it be nice to just stay in bed and excape in those novels day after day and avoid the fight?  Avoid the decisions that have to be made?

It seems the Lord is constantly testing me to what extent I will fight for my kid. And I always come away reminded, "Whatever it takes."

So this month, I am the Boxer.


Adriane said...

Well said. I've always drawn inner strength from the idea that I've fought my way through life (guess that's why I like fictional characters like Eowyn and Katniss so much), but I'm starting to learn that true toughness is not the act of fighting itself but the will and determination that I have to have before the fight comes my way. In short, the mental and emotional "conditioning" to tell myself "I can do hard things." It's like those pioneer women who never stopped telling themselves "I can do this...I can tredge in snow and mud and cold and carry my babies and children across the desolate plains...because I can do hard things and because I know I'm not doing it alone."

There's a quiet, yet powerful strength in those women who can face daily challenges with courage, determination, and sheer faith that God will give them strength during those times when their mortal minds, bodies, and spirits fail them.

Kudos to you my friend for fighting for those you love. There's bound to be more challenges in your son's life, but he will be okay because his mom is a fighter. He was sent to a supermom.

Adriane said...

the editor in me...I meant "trudge"