Snow.

We've had a lot of snow this winter.

Even Spot liked how much snow we got. Right after Race and Spot came in from their morning walk, we had a coyote running through enjoying the snow as well...

This is the cowboy snowman named Slim. He had a zucchini for a nose. The boys are still in their PJ's and haven't even had breakfast yet. They saw the snow when they woke up and ran out to build Slim.

And we even got up the rim a few times to sled with friends the Wimers and the Bryants. These are the friends I told you about who have been my mentors through the whole home schooling experience. We are so grateful for each of them!

Race and Dathan:

Lane and Addy: Lane didn't much care for the snow... at all. He did a lot of crying on our outings.

Witt and Justin: After this winter, I have decided Witt will never own a dirt bike, motorcycle, or anything that goes too fast. :)

Race and his buddy Easton.

Lane and Porter:

Gunner and Witt (this is one of my favorite pictures):

We love snow.

We love our friends.

We love playing in the snow with our friends.

Thematic Therapy

When I was teaching my first year, I quickly discovered that our district adopted curriculum was anything but thematic. (thematic being that the learning crosses over from your language arts, to math, art, to science, social studies, etc...) This shocked me at first because thematic units were something covered extensively in my college teaching classes. Because through using thematic units, students become emerged in the learning. The learning is all connected in some way.

One great thing about homeschooling is you can make this happen. Even with the classes Race is taking from Connections Academy, we make this happen. Here are some pictures of one of our units we covered in January.

What a great little story by the way. It's about the memories, love and stories a quilt tells:

We got out some of our quilts and talked about where each came from, who made them, their unique designs, and why they are special to us. Race struggles with story retell. He is a good reader, and he has great comprehension and can answer questions about the story. But putting events in order, using those transition words (first, next, before, finally) is a challenge.

In Social Studies we covered the different regions of the world where different types of blanket making are used, and for what purpose they are made.

In math, we hit our measurement chapters.

We went to Walmart to look at and feel all the fabrics. In the past Race has always wanted to hang out in the electronics right around the corner while I bought fabric. This time he went to compare and contrast the different materials.

Fine motor skills challenge Race. Handwriting, beading, and now making a scarf on a knitting loom, push Race to focus on those small muscles that don't always want to cooperate with him.

When Race gets going on the knitting loom, his focus goes to a whole other level; like he does when he's playing the Wii or the piano. Sometimes I wish I could go with him to that place. So I can see what it's like.

Pinewood Derby

As I've told you in the past, Race loves Cub Scouts. In January, we had the Pinewood Derby. Race and John worked hard getting the Bat-Mobile made.

And guess who won the derby?

Left to Right: Second place Keagan, Third place Kaiden, First place Race

Race and his two good buddies, Jason and Dathan after the derby. It was such a great night, it was neat to see him win. 

That night as he went to bed, he said to me, "This was the greatest night ever."

I think it's one he'll always remember.

180 Degrees

I look back at where I was a year and a half ago, with the ideas I had for Race's progress and success, and I look where I am now:

• A year and a half ago, I had myself convinced the best place for Race was in the public system where they would help him be social.

• Three years ago I had us faithfully emerged us in the DDD (Department of Developmental Disabilities) systems, because they were there to help us and help Race get the services he needed to be successful.

• Three years ago I was signing up for every autism conference close enough that I could afford to attend so I could be up on all the latest research.

Many of the experiences have been great ones. We've had some happy memories along the way.

But more of the experiences have been learning experiences as we trudge along this path, finding our way. We've learned many lessons. But the big one that's been on my mind the last few weeks is this:

Everyone has an opinion. And their opinions are influenced by their own personal experiences. And their personal experiences influence their perception.... and sometimes no opinions matter except the feeling in your gut.

So, if that makes any sense to you, because it might not, but if it does, you will kind of understand the direction I'm standing in now:

No one will love your kid as much as you do. And they won't take care of them the way you would. And they won't communicate with you the way you want them to. And why would they? They have so many other kids to be taking care of, plus all the other demands put on them by the district and state. In the big picture, one little autistic boy just doesn't matter.

The DDD system is sometimes more work than it's worth. We've had many great therapists, and we've had many bad. There is no consistency. How much is the system really helping us?

I'm limiting myself to two conferences a year now. I realized all they do is stress me out over all the things I'm NOT doing for my son. They do nothing for the self-inflicting guilt problem I already suffer from.

I sound burnt out don't I?

But I'm not.

I really feel we had to go down all those paths, explore them a bit, and find if we needed or didn't need what that road had to offer. And it only strengthened us.

Through this whole journey, even though there were times I felt very alone, at the end of the day, I always knew I wasn't. I referred to one scripture in particular often. Doctrine and Covenants 8:2 says, "Yea, behold, I will tell you in your mind and in your heart, by they Holy Ghost, which shall come upon you and which shall dwell in your heart."  I know Heavenly Father puts people in our lives to support us. And a year and a half ago, Heavenly Father put some homeschooling moms in my path who I've become great  friends with. As you know from other posts, I had been leaning towards homeschooling for a while. But these moms, these friends, kind of gave me that last bit of confidence in myself that I needed to actually do it.

So on that day last spring when John brought Race home early from school because of yet another bad morning on the playground, I knew it was time. The time for wondering was over. It was time to do it.

I'm so grateful for that leap of faith.

Cry Now, Laugh Later...

My little redhead is testing my patience. So, this one is for the books, so HOPEFULLY we can someday look back on these events, and laugh.... kind of like my own mother is doing now. :)

Saturday, Witten decided to use Daddy's knife and cut through a live wire. I knew this day would someday come, despite all my hopes. Well, he fried the knife, and sliced down to his knuckle. There was blood everywhere... and sparks too. There were no tears, just, "Holy Cow! Those sparks are hot!"

Somebody help me...

Today my little redhead couldn't wait any longer for me to give him a haircut (I've been super busy and my boys have been sportin' some longer hair because of it). So, he decided to take matters into his own hands and "help me out".

He cut his own hair. Right up the middle. He practically scalped himself.

He's been having a few rough weeks with other things as well.

My poor little guy.

And poor little me.

We'll get through this Cowboy. Both of us. And someday, when you're WAY older, and have learned many more of life's lessons, we'll sit back and laugh about it all.

Together.

A Disney Christmas

I love Disneyland at Christmas. I know its way crowded... but Disneyland at Christmas time is so magical.

Every year we go seems to get more fun. I think it's because they boys are getting older and can do more.

Race's favorite rides: Splash Mountain and the Screamer
His least favorite: Tower of Terror and Indiana Jones (according to Race, these rides were absolutely ridiculous).

A lot of people have asked me how Race did at Disneyland... he loved it, and did great. We only had one meltdown the entire trip. He was so relaxed the whole time, I really feel like he was getting so much sensory input on all the rides, it was keeping him more calm and together. If only he could get that much sensory input every day, right?

Witt's favorite rides: ALL OF THEM!! (he's my new roller coaster buddy, I'm so excited!) Witt was barely 48 inches tall, but he sure stood up straight every time they measured him. He was so much fun on the Screamer. He likes going fast!

Lane's favorite rides: Buzz Lightyear, Woody and Pirates (and he went on these about ten times each...) Oh, and he also had to hug every character we ran into.

Daddy's favorites: Soaring over California and Splash Mountain.
His least favorite: Heimlich's Chew Chew Train (Lane and Daddy spent quite a bit of time in Bug's Land while Race, Witt and I were riding the Screamer... Heimlich's voice was starting to wear on John's nerves just a little. :)

My favorites: Star Tours, the Jungle Tour (because my sister and I practically pee our pants laughing so hard at the tour guides) and the Screamer. But then, there's also those special rides that bring back childhood memories... Pirates, Space Mountain, Small World, Peter Pan, Thunder Mountain Railway, Tom Sawyer's Island, the list goes on.

The Bill Bailey Family 2012:

We're all soaked from walking to breakfast in the rain.

Didn't Annell and Mom do a great job on the shirts?

I have been officially for about two years now, the shortest kid in the fam... for Bailey standards, I am quite short. But for the rest of society, 5'7" is pretty tall.

I love Disneyland. I love Christmas. I love my family. I love Disneyland at Christmas with my family.

Newport Beach

We went to California for Christmas. Our first stop was Newport Beach. We got there at 8:00 am, and found out the only other people at the beach that early in December are Asian fishermen and homeless people... and the Armstrong's. But, we didn't care. We stayed all morning, and into the afternoon. We love the beach.

It was this lil' pirate's first time seeing the ocean.  He loved it. He loved chasing the sea gulls best.

Witten is a treasure hunter. He spent most the morning searching for unbroken sea shells. He even found a sea urchin!

Race loved the waves; hours of sensory integration. He kept squinting to try and see Japan.

The Little Red Bird

Once there was a little boy who was asked to be in a Christmas play.

Of all the parts he could have had,

he chose the Little Red Bird.

So he could do what he does best and fly.

And speak as little as possible in front of the crowd.

So we all went to cheer for the Little Red Bird,

and watch him fly around the stage.

And he did his part so Wittenish,

And was very brave in front of the crowd,

a perfect Little Red Christmas Bird.

Witten with his teachers, Ms. Jyoti and Ms. Janet

Witten flies around the stage... do you like his wings? Guess who made them...

Our dear friends the Wimer's came to Witten's program with us. They're some of our favorites!!

Absence...

I've been absent from my blog for a while. Getting back into the groove of things after the new year, plus getting the family over the yuckies that swept through our house. And you know who got it the worst? Me. Actually, I haven't been this sick in years; it's taken too long to get over. I'm still coughing my head off, a week and a half later.

One thing about me and being sick... it is actually my best thinking time for my stories. I don't know why, but I capture my best ideas when I'm sick. Is it because the crazy, feverish thoughts between sleep and wake make more sense in my weakened state? Or is it because I slow down, and I'm paying close attention to the fine details in my own life, that the fine details in my writing come to life? Like today, John took the boys out to see how high the creek is, since we've been having all this rain, and as I watched them drive away, I was carried away in thought while watching the storm clouds roll past the mountains. They were moving so quickly, like they were in a hurry to get somewhere, and I could see them reaching northward, earnestly needing to get up the rim quickly. And so of course I thought about my crazy life and how I am so much like those storm clouds. How I hurry on to the next item in my day, going, going, never stopping... until I get sick.

It hit me last Saturday. I had been up all night Friday with Race who had been throwing up. Witten had it from Sunday till Wednesday, so I had a few days break. But Race settled into bed around 5 am on Saturday morning, his body allowing him to finally rest. And that's when it started for me. The worst part was, John was out of town for work. It was just me and the boys. And when Witten woke up and found me with my head down in the toilet, he asked if I needed a drink.

"Yes, Cowboy. Thank you."
So he brought me a cup of water. "Here you go, Mama."
"Thank you, Cowboy. I think I'm going to need your help today, OK?"
"I know. Daddy told me I'm the Daddy while he's gone."

I'm so grateful for Witten. Because, although the house was a wreck when I finally stepped out of the bathroom, later that afternoon, the milk was out and warm, the fridge was open, the toaster was sitting on the floor,plugged in and the bread bag had been open for how many hours I don't know. Witten had also decided to make he and Lane Top Ramen, and instant oatmeal, so there were  trails of both all over...but... Lane and Witten were building Lego's in their room. Happy. And fed. I'm so proud of my six year old boy.

He even made us pancakes Sunday evening. Check this kid out! Yes, I had to supervise him over the flame, because he likes fire a little too much... But he is a pro-pan-cake-flipper. No kidding!

I love you Cowboy!

So, being sick has its perks (if you have to look at things positively). It is definitely a time when I get to evaluate my life, and count my many blessings.

Go Miss Montana!

I normally don't follow the Miss America Competition. But, after watching this, I totally am.

I loved this. Go Ms. Montana!

Ensign Autism Article

If you watched General Conference this last October, there were at least two different times a talk touched on autism. I'm grateful for this. Just as I'm grateful for this article in the January Ensign:

  Embracing Ethan

I'm so grateful for the inspired leaders of the church who address current issues. Because when we first got Race's diagnosis, I felt very alone. Alone in many aspects, though there were open arms everywhere; in the community, at school, and at church. Yet, I still felt very much alone because the burden and responsibilities for John and I were so great. And we were just two simple people with nothing extraordinary about us.

As a parent, what is the thing you want most for your kids? Success and happiness. At least for me, it is to raise responsible, capable adults who will contribute to society in a positive way, and be happy. This in itself is enough to keep parents constantly on their toes, guiding their children along. Parenting is hard. It is stressful. I hate watching them make bad choices as they find their way, despite all the Love and Logic books I read. So to add a disability on top of that, and not just any disability, but autism.The invisible disability (invisible because you can't see it). The disability that doesn't look limiting in the least, but instead plain old looks like a big behavior problem with no clue how to act in public.

Alone.

I am so grateful for how much more awareness there is now, even compared to two years ago. I am grateful for Primary teachers and Scout leaders and Tae Kwon Do instructors and therapists who adapt their teachings to help Race learn and grow. I'm grateful for the friends Race has who have his back, even in a melt down. I'm so grateful for a red-headed little cowboy who is naturally sensitive to his brother's way of thinking, even when they're fighting. And of course for John. Because most of the time, he is more patient with our trials than I am. And he keeps me looking at the bigger picture, with a more eternal perspective when I start getting too narrow-minded.

And I am so grateful for Race. Because he teaches all of us, every single day.

I am so grateful.

I know Heavenly Father has a plan. And He loves all His children, and He will help us when we ask.  And I am grateful for the guidance and comfort He gives me when the loneliness settles in, time and time again.

2012 Christmas Card

*

may

the

spirit of

Love,

the beauty of

Hope,

and the blessings of

Peace,

be your gifts this

Christmas Season.

[_]

Love,

The Armstrong Family

HIS Twilight Cup

For the Hubby's birthday, I took him to see The Hobbit with Adriane and Justin.

We loved it of course.

So when we got there, I went to save seats and left John to grab the snacks. And this is what the kid a the snack bar gave John his drink in:

And I have to laugh. And I'm still laughing, because if you know my husband, you know he's not the biggest Twilight Fan. And it all stems back from when I tried to explain the first fabulous book to him years ago:

"This girl Bella, she's in love with this guy. But he's a vampire, so he can't get to close to her, even though he's madly in love with her too. But he can't get too close to her because he wants to suck her blood... but really, its soooo good."

So, yes, he's not a Twilight Fan. And in fact, he enjoys mocking the movies. Well, I guess we both do, but for me its just because the movies aren't nearly as good as the books, right?

So the kid at the snack counter hands John this cup.

"Dude. Really?"

"I'm sorry sir, what's that?" the Harkins Kid asks.

"Nothing, its just... nothing." John says, picking up the snacks to leave.

"Oh, is it the cup? Yeah, sorry about that, man. You don't really look like a fan, it's just my manager's making us hand the rest of these out."

"Oh, well, at least I don't look like a fan."

"Well, now you do I guess, since you're holding that cup."

No response. Just a super-sarcastic smile to the Harkins Kid.

Because for the record, he is NOT a fan. Even though he got this very cool birthday cup. :)

A Tale of Teeth...

It had been aching for a couple weeks. But you know how it goes with getting in to see a dentist when you really need to. And, the tooth had already been worked on twice before. First a filling, then a cap, and now? Again? The same tooth?

So, we said lots of prayers for the poor Cowboy. Because he was really trying to endure this constant aching. But it was starting to wear on his little emotions.

And then, one Saturday afternoon, our prayers were answered...


All three of the boys were outside playing on the grass. Then I hear the crying start, and Witten comes running in with a bloody mouth. And wouldn't you know, his bottom two teeth that had been loose for months are dangling by threads. Both of them.

"Yay! They're finally coming out! Both on the same day! I better call the Tooth Fairy and give her a heads up!" I say, trying to calm him down as we head to the bathroom.

"No. They're not coming out. They're not ready." Witt says through the blood and tears.

"Witt, they're barely hanging there. Look."

His sad little eyes move to the mirror where he examines his mouth from many angles.

Then the sad little expression changes to a determined one. And I think he's decided to pull out those little dangling teeth. But then he says, "They're not ready. They're not coming out."

And this is where Witt and I hit heads every time we don't see things the same way. Because I have never met a more stubborn kid in all my life. And if you ask my mom, she'd say the same thing about me. (Which, off topic, I will argue that stubbornness is not a bad quality. I like to look at it as one of my strengths. And for Witten too, when we both turn it in the right direction...)

Stubborn.

Both of us.

I hunch over a little so we're looking at each other's stubborn expressions in the mirror. "What do you mean they're not ready. Look at them."

"They're not ready."

He spent the afternoon going about his business, and I went about mine. He even went over to a friends house for a few hours with dangling teeth. And he came home with dangling teeth. He was determined those teeth were not coming out.

When dinner rolled around, he asked for soup. So I sit him down with a steamy bowl of chicken noodle soup and see those two dangling teeth just hanging there. Both of them.

After a few moments I look back at him from across the table, and...there is only one dangling tooth. And he didn't have a clue. He just sat there eating his soup. I glance in his bowl, around the table before I finally say, "You want to know something, Cowboy?

"What?" he asks, taking another sip of soup.

"How's that back tooth feeling today?"

"Doesn't hurt."

"That's great! Probably because these other teeth hurt a little more right now, hu?"

"Yeah."

"I bet you don't feel a thing when you decide to pull them."

"They're not ready."

"Hmm. You sure about that?"

"Yeah," he says with that stubborn look.

"Why don't you go look in the mirror again," I say with a smile.

He closes his mouth and I can see him working his tongue down around the front of his mouth, then his eyes get all big and he starts looking in his soup, then in his lap and on the floor. He gets up off the floor, eyes wide, and says, "I think I swallowed one of them."

"I think you did too."

He runs to the bathroom to look in the mirror.

One little dangling tooth.

And his eyes start to water, but he doesn't want to cry. "Does the tooth fairy still come if you swallowed your tooth?"

"Yes."

"Okay." His eyes stop watering and he stands a little straighter in the mirror. "Good. Because this one," he looks at me and that stubborn look returns. "This one isn't ready!"

?????

Needless to say, in a few hours the tooth was literally picked up out of its little place in his mouth. Not even pulled. Picked up.

And for the whole weekend, Witten's back tooth didn't hurt (And he ended up getting it one pulled on Tuesday).

And he thinks the Tooth Fairy is pretty awesome. Because did you know that she comes even if the tooth is pulled pulled by a little boy, or a dentist, or even if the tooth is swallowed?

She still comes! And she's got some awesome Jedi Force!